Nicole vs. Life
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
