im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
