I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
