Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
