It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
