i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
