It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
