come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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