I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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