have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
