Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
