oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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