Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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