I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
