I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm both gender and math confused
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
