Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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