No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
