some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
