So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
