So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i think i just lost a toe
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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