end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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