...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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