No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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