I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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