It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
