If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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