Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
