i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
