I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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