Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
