If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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