ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize