Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
