there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
