I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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