New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
