a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
