Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night

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(347): View more from New York

i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had

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(443): View more from Maryland

Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

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(310): View more from California

Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

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(541): View more from Oregon

You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

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(646): View more from New York

Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?

(347): View more from New York

He Who Must Not Be Named.

(646): View more from New York

Fuck you.

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(614): View more from Ohio

-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins

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