I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
