So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I looked at my own cervix.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
