Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
