Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Randomize
