my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Randomize
