im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
