so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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