I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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