the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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