I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
