I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
