wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
