he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
