Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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