last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
