Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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