the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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