what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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