Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize