She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
