I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Randomize
