i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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